Another wild evening begins.
by Noodle
Today news broke that in the case of Al Gore vs. the Slightly Wacky Masseuse, our former Vice President has been accused of acting like a “crazed sex poodle”.
While I greatly admire Mr. Gore’s invention of the Internet and our shared passion for Mother Earth, I have no choice but to express offense at this comparison. One of the world’s noblest breeds, mentioned in the same breath as an assault? Why, the last thing I assaulted was – well, a bag of chocolate chip cookies. (No regrets.)
Regardless, I refuse to stand by while the sunny reputation of the innocent miniature poodle suffers. I hardly deserve to be dragged into scandal, my name besmirched. Not to mention the “crazed” part. Know what I’m crazy for? Cuddles. Cuddles and naps.
Mr. Gore, I wish you the best of luck in clearing up this nasty matter. If you could mention my plight in your inevitable statement to the press, I’d be much obliged. Maybe suggest that you were more like a shih tzu instead? If it makes any difference, I travel by foot, consume only organic treats, and to my knowledge, have never contributed to carbon dioxide emissions. I even laughed with you during your guest appearance on 30 Rock, as you heeded the call of a troubled whale.
All things considered, I’m pretty confident everything can be resolved before things get too “ruff” between us (ka-ching!). Remember, hell hath no fury like a poodle scorned.
Laura
Harold
