By Harold
I never really considered the downside of living in the suburbs and inner cities my whole life, but apparently there’s one — I never got to experience the wonders of the state fair. Imagine a whole life without seeing a cow milked before your very eyes, or the best squashes in the state being judged, or candy bars being deep fried.
Fortunately that void in my life has been filled. I went not once, but twice to the North Carolina state fair this week. The first time, I made the mistake of actually eating the food, so that when I went on the carnival rides I felt sick (not surprising, considering there are two kinds of rides there — one that violently shakes you side-to-side, and one that jerks you up-and-down).
In fact, the only healthy food I saw the whole day was a bag of carrots, which were affordably priced at $1. Unfortunately, it was for the animals — they were being sold at the petting zoo. That’s right, the sheep were eating fresh vegetables while I ate a cheesesteak, hush puppies and sweet potato fries. Anyway, the petting zoo was so great that it was completely worth the risk of getting all kinds of horrible diseases. And seeing the rows of cows, chickens and pigs (with 10 piglets) made me almost wish I had spent a little time living on a farm, until one of the cows went to the bathroom and then the farmer had to deal with it.
Unfortunately I didn’t stick around for the nightly entertainment, which includes fireworks and two (!) American Idol contestants, Anoop Desai and Kellie Pickler. I did see a bike stunt show and pig races, which was awesome enough. The only negative to the whole experience was the dozens of petition-waving volunteers who wanted me to “Tell Government to Stay Away From My Health Care.” I would have to think that Thursday at 1 p.m., you’re dealing with a lot of unemployed people, who just finished eating deep-fried butter or chocolate-covered bacon. They’re probably the people who would benefit the most from universal coverage.
Laura
Harold
