The other sport

by Harold

The college football season started today, so it’s a good time to talk about the open Duke football practice that Laura begged me to go to two weeks ago. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Coming off a four-win season (that’s four more wins than Duke won our junior and senior years, combined), I was excited to see the Blue Devils take the field. At the very least, since it was an intrasquad scrimmage, I could see a Duke team win. 

When I got there and saw upwards of 100 people in the horseshoe of Wally Wade Stadium, I was excited for a completely different reason — I could actually win a raffle for the first time. You know how at sporting events they pick a lucky seat number, and while you’re always close  — if they flipped the first two digits and subtracted one from the third digit, you were only 10 rows and three sections off — you never win? Well, they were calling winners and giving away stuff left and right at this scrimmage, so I really had a chance. 

But by the end, I was completely weirded out. When a running back broke two tackles, was that skill, or was the defense incapable of tackling? Or when a wide receiver was wide open, was that a good route, or did the defense blow the assignment? And what’s the point of watching a game when there’s no one to root for? In the end I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

It was like when people complain that when the Williams sisters play against each other, it’s no fun because there’s no rooting interest. Actually, since it’ll probably happen in next week’s U.S. Open semifinals, I’ll help you with that one — root for Venus. Maybe from the outside they seem similar, but after four years covering the event, Venus was always thoughtful, good-natured and accommodating, while Serena could be surly and mean-spirited. It’s obvious, to me anyway, that Venus is the mature older child, while Serena is the spoiled younger child.

In any case, I saw some real top-of-the-line athleticism at Duke, but I’m not sure we have enough depth to contend with the top teams in the conference. Fortunately for us, there’s not that many. Assuming we beat the two teams that aren’t allowed to give scholarships (Richmond and N.C. Central) and the team that requires a military commitment in time of war (Army), which should put them at a recruiting disadvantage, we’re already 3-1 at worst heading into our ACC schedule, which features five more winnable games.

By the way, I think relations with our Durham neighbor, historically black N.C. Central, were at a low after the Duke lacrosse scandal. I know how to improve it — we’ll crush them in football. Better yet, we’ll make it Homecoming weekend so all of Duke can be in on the fun. That should improve things.

To summarize, I think we win three more games (Virginia, N.C. State and Maryland) to go 6-6 and actually make a postseason bowl game. Then again, I hope I’m wrong — the year we played in our last bowl game, 1995, was also the last time the basketball team missed the NCAA tournament, and that’s not a trade-off I feel comfortable making. Just like in the scrimmage, when it comes to Duke football, I don’t know what to root for.